UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Hamburger with Special Sauce, The GOAT Caesar Salad with Homemade Croutons, and Elevated Corn on the Cob

My father did not cook. In fact, one evening my mom left him alone with us and two cans cream-of-mushroom Campbell's soup to make for dinner. We all reported it was awful. Even my father. He had failed to read the directions, so had served it to us condensed. But he grilled. And he made this Caesar salad, which he learned to make from a professional-football coach friend. I guess that elevated it to "manly to cook.". My father made the salad by having my mom gather all of the ingredients for him, then he put on a show of mashing the dressing together, tossing in the leaves, and serving. It was such a hosting trick, it became known to all of our family friend's as Phil's Salad. While once-upon-a-time he showed me how to make it, I am unsure I am doing the recipe he taught me decades ago justice, thus am simply calling my version The GOAT Caesar.

The burger sauce is all my own. Around the same time my dad was making Caesar — when I was in my single digit years — I invented this burger sauce, which I made for the family whenever we had burgers. It morphed slightly with the advent of Chipotle Tabasco, but has remained the same otherwise. Chick-fil-A, Shake Shack, and the multitude of burger spots with their own special sauces were a few decades away when I concocted mine, but McDonald's had one, so thinking that was my inspo.

The burger meat is a riff on Hemingway's favorite burger. And the take on corn is what we do when we want to elevate our corn game. (The corn near us is so good that most nights I just wrap the husked cobs in a damp paper towel and cook them for as many minutes as ears on the plate in the microwave.)

Hamburger with Special Sauce

2 tablespoons ketchup

1 tablespoon mayonaise

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

1 teaspoon + 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon Chipotle/Smoked Tobacco

1½ lbs 80/20 beef

1 teaspoon Spice Island Beau Monde seasoning

Salt and pepper, to tase

Buns, butter lettuce, slice beefsteak tomatoes, sliced dills pickles for serving, optional

1. In a small bowl, mix together the ketchup, mayo, mustard, 1 teaspoon of the Worcestershire sauce, and the Tobacco. Use a fork to blend until fully combined and no lumps remain. Place in fridge until ready to use.

2. Heat an outdoor grill or indoor griddle or cast iron skillet to high.

3. Fully open the paper the meat is in, or lay out a large sheet of parchment paper. Gently pull apart the meat in small handfuls, spreading across the paper, aiming to get a rectangle of ground beef about 8"x12". Do not pat down. You want to be as gentle as possible, without intentionally condensing the meat. Evenly drizzle on the tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce and sprinkle on the Beau Monde Seasoning.

4. Divide the meat into quarters and gently shape each one into a burger size, accounting for the fact that the diameter will shrink when the burgers are cooked. Press the meat just enough to hold together, but do not overly condense it or your burger will be tough. Slightly press on the middle of the burger, so it is thinner than the edges, as the middle swells more than the edges when cook, so this will keep the shape more uniform.

5. Liberally salt and pepper the outside of the burgers, then immediately place burgers on grill, griddle, or skillet. Reduce the heat to medium-high and grill 3-5 minutes per side, to your liking.

6. Serve with sauce and the accoutrements of your choice. If using lettuce, place the lettuce on the bun under the burger, so keep the bottom buy drier, but all else can go on top.

The GOAT Caesar Salad

1 large head or 2 hearts of romaine lettuce

2 large eggs

1 cup croutons or 1 recipe for homemade croutons, below

1 clove garlic

2 teaspoons red wine or balsamic vinegar

2 teaspoons anchovy paste or 4 anchovies in oil, drained and patted dry

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

½ lemon

2 tablespoons olive oil

½ cup grated Parmesan

Salt and pepper, to taste

1. Tear or cut the lettuce into bitesize pieces Wash and dry throughly.

2. Place a small lidded pot with a steamer basket and a bit water over high heat. When water boils, put the eggs in the steamer basket, turn heat to low, and steam for 3 minutes. (Alternatively, you can boil them for 3 minutes.) Remove eggs and run under cold water to stop the cooking.

3. While eggs are cooking, place 4 croutons in large salad bowl. Mince the garlic and add to the bowl. Add in the vinegar, anchovy paste or anchovies, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce. Squeeze the lemon juice atop. Let it sit for a minute or two, then use the back of a spoon to mash all together. You want to make a paste out of it. Stir in the olive oil.

4. Place lettuce on top of the dressings and toss gently but thoroughly, until lettuce is coated. Break eggs gently and scoop just the yolks onto the salad. Toss again. Then add half of the Parmesan and toss again. Season to taste.

5. Add the remainder of the croutons and cheese just before serving and toss once more.

Homemade Croutons

2 tablespoons salted butter

2 rolls of your choice (I use GF hamburger buns)

1 teaspoon seasoned salt

1 teaspoon Parmesan cheese

1. Preheat over to 225° F. Place a sheet of parchment paper on a cookie sheet.

2. Melt the butter in a large bowl in the microwave for about 30 seconds, or until fully melted. While it melts, cut rolls into crouton-sized cubes.

3. Remove bowl from microwave and swirl it around so that the butter fully coats the walls rather than pools in the bottom. Place the bread cubes in the bowl and, using a large spoon, toss gently, to get the cubes as evenly coated with butter s possible without breaking apart the bread.

4. Use your hands to transfer the cubes in an even layer on the cookie sheet. Bake for 25 minutes. This dries out the bread slightly.

5. Remove the tray from the oven and turn up the heat to 350°F. Sprinkle half of the season salt evenly on the cubes, then use a spatula to flip them over. Evenly sprinkle on the remaining season salt and Parmesan and return to the oven for 5-7 minutes, until browned and crunchy. Cool, uncovered, until ready to use.

Elevated Corn on the Cob

6 ears fresh corn, husked

1 cup milk

1 tablespoon granulated sugar

Butter, salt, or Old Bay for serving, optional

1. Fill a pot big enough to hold all of the corn about 3/4 full with water. Add in milk and sugar. Bring to a boil over high high.

2. Drop in the corn and when it begins to simmer, reduce the heat so water remains at a simmer. Cook 3-5 minutes, until the steam just begins to smell like cooked corn.

3. Use tongs to remove to a tray to cool slightly, and serve. Our go to is no butter or salt, just sprinkled with Old Bay.

#hamburger #caesarsalad #cornonthecob #cookingtheworld #familydinner #whatsfordinner

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FUN FACTS (going with 5 instead of 3, because, why not...)

• Maine is the closest U.S. state to the continent of Africa.

• (At the time of writing) there are more public libraries (17,586 at time of writing) in the United States than there are Starbucks locations (16,849).

• The flag of the United States was designed by a 17-year-old high school student named Robert G. Heft as a school project. He got a B- on it.

• The hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth was 134° F at Death Valley in California, on July 10, 1913.

• Tailgating before sporting events is a uniquely American cultural phenomenon that began during the Civil War; spectators brought lunch baskets to the First Battle of Bull Run in 1861. A few years later, fans copied the idea at the inaugural 1869 football game between Rutgers and Princeton, where they arrived in wagons and ate food outdoors.